I could have gone to see my father as he lay dying in a nursing home bed in Lancaster, Pennsylvania; he was only two hours away. My older brother had driven up from South Carolina and was keeping a vigil. He and my father were close, sharing the same all-encompassing religion-infused worldview from which I […]
I went to a friend’s house for Christmas this afternoon. I had a nice time in her cozy little apartment with her family and a few other friends. At this point in life, I just enjoy Christmas and try to avoid all of the arguments surrounding whether or not it is a “Pagan holiday.” I was born and […]
One step forward Two steps back The backward ones feel so much bigger Having seen ahead to where they come from I try to walk slower, keep my pacing, my eyes focused on the spot No matter how hard I try I still fall back I’ve had such strange dreams these past few nights. I […]
DIGRESSIONS Maybe this current me is an actual ghost of myself returning on an abstracted plane, or I am an amateurish 3-printed version, or perhaps the old Star Wars robot, R2d2, winding down in slow-motion, like a top spinning its downward spiral, sadly squeaking, lopsided, running out of juice. Did I just write juice? Not […]
ALONE WITH A BORROWED PUNCHBOWL A blur, now, it was just another potluck among friends. Suzanne had left her punchbowl at my house maybe a year—a year and a half ago—well before her husband fell ill. He finally died last month, around Thanksgiving. It was shortly thereafter my husband had flipped out in a maniacal […]
I Dreamt of Albert Camus Last night I dreamt of Albert Camus. Which is really weird since I haven’t thought about Albert Camus for 10 or 20 years, maybe even more. But there he was, standing at the lectern, smoking a cigarette and getting ready to deliver a poem about Peace to a packed house […]
I like the way Christmas has evolved to become almost nothing. From its monumental and magical centrality in my childhood, through the years of parenting when it was a big stressful production, to this elder era, when my wife and I agree…we enjoy giving each other a few gifts, but we’re done with all the […]
Ken-san knew enough to know that he would never become a nihon-tsu, or Japan expert. He had turned 40, his partner was not Japanese, and his academic field was American Studies. Before he began the rudiments of language study in Washington to prepare for his first assignment at the Embassy, Ken was a Japan virgin, […]
“I’m interested in hearing about your experience,” my neighbor said to me, after I shared a little bit about where I used to work and what I used to do there. My neighbor, the one whose verbosity makes me cringe. The one who stops me on my way out and fills my space with mindless […]
It is the day after Christmas and it was a lovely day. The plan worked. Two weeks ago I invited a friend to come and have lunch with me. She had been helping me with a critical situation at home with one of my cats who had been very ill. Without my friend’s help that […]