Breeze

The day after Christmas

It’s the day after Christmas. Now I can get back to my regular chores. Intrigued by all the smug Christmas holiday comments (that I heard at work and around the stores and streets) of “we”.

“We’re doing a small Christmas this year, because the kids are all doing their own things”.

Or

“We only exchange a few gifts just for each other now; it’s a calmer and quieter holiday now”

And what about the people like me who don’t open any gifts on Christmas?

What about the people who are not a “we”?

I find the people who are in a “we” to be self-centered and smug and lacking any empathy.

And I find myself this Christmas to be bitter. But it feels good to embrace my bitterness.

I missed the memo when I was in my 20s that told me that to guarantee that you’re not alone ever on a holiday and that you get at least one present from somebody- then you should get married and have kids.

In my 20s, I was taking care of my sick mom. My dad had completely checked out and was not a caregiver and it was left to my sister and I. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my mom. She was a pleasure to be with, unlike my dad, but still I was in my 20s— when I was supposed to leave the nest, spread my wings, and meet a man or a woman and plan a wedding and have everything and everyone be focused on me, me, me, me, me.

I’m 53 and I want my 20s back. I wanna be selfish and self-centered. I want a bunch of gifts on Christmas, I want a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, a wedding, I want someone to cook for me (and I would gladly do all the washing up), and I definitely want someone to finally throw me a surprise birthday party. Is that too much to ask?

Merry fucking Christmas to all you smug “we”s.