Coffee Drinker

All a jumble in my head realizing I can’t do it all and I don’t care.
I’m shifting down like I used to in the old Model A jalopy I learned to drive on. When my folks downsized, my older brother got it, the jalopy. We called her Jilly. She still runs. He tells me all about her over and over again, and that his eldest grandson now has it, when we talk on the phone, he in his easing-out Alzheimer’s state of bliss, while his wife is slowly burning out, drained of her spark. Who’ll die first, the carer or the cared for? And my job is to stay in my lane and love them.

I reneged from the annual extended family potluck and Christmas Carol sing, last night, and found no need to explain myself. “See you tomorrow!” I promised. I’m in the shadows of these too much food too overwhelmed hosts, everyone trying, everyone wishing they were brave like me, just shifting gears and whispering no.

My shuttle cart, I bought when I moved in here, is so helpful for getting things up and downski the elevator to and from the car that lives in a warm underground garage. I sometimes ad “ski” to words and don’t explain myself. When I get up, I make my bed and always put the stuffy bear I gave my Mom, when she became bedridden, comfortably settled on the pillows. I take the time to do that.

Sometimes, turning, I find myself doing a little pivot step. Boop, boop, boopski. I’ll bring my slippers to my daughters for the day, it’s Christmas. I’m leaving at 8 to be there by 8:30.

More importantly, to me, is I made us English Muffins, light rye with caraway seeds. Tradition! We’ll pause for a lovely breakfast of Eggs Benedict or Florentine. I have the spinach and I have an amazing trick for the BEST Hollandaise! If you want it, all you have to do is comment! LOL. When I typed that, I laughed, because it was like posting on FB. Well into my 80s I do post, uh-huhski I do!

Can you tell I’ve had coffee? You’ll have the pleasure or not of reading this sans proofing at all. I told myself, just let it flow and do not lingereth. You have stockings to fill.